Wednesday, September 20, 2006

This is a very strange process. You never really know when the gravity of this situation has actually sunk in. I've been trying to assess where Karen is at in terms of her really understanding her condition. While we were on a walk earlier she told me, without my prompting, that she doesn't think she really gets it yet. I think she's right. She has not had as much time as we have had to really let this all sink in. She has not allowed herself to think to far into the future yet, which is fine for now. "Baby steps" as I was told once by a goldfish wearing hypochondriac.

I do worry about Karen and how she will handle the full weight of her new reality as it sinks in. Maybe the epiphany will come tomorrow when we hear the results of the pathology and get a prognosis. She is strong, stubborn, (her faith is much stronger than mine) and I know she will process the information just fine. But I also hate to see her scared and hurting.

In the past I have often said what a comfort it is to look back at our own lives as Christians and to see the many troubles and times of uncertainty that God has brought us through. The path that God has cut for each of us through history is fraught with these hills and valley's and we never in our wildest dreams would have written the story line God has penned for us. But what a drab uninteresting and lifeless story our lives would be if we were the ones writing it.

Then I think of the history of God's people through the ages. I think of the Israelites as they were being delivered from Egypt and how quickly they turned their backs on the God who had just saved them. Yet God was gracious and demonstrated his mercy and let them drink from the rock. I think of the church in Corinth in the 1st century and the way they had so quickly fallen into sin. Yet by the second letter Paul wrote to them God had proved faithful to forgive and bless them once again.

Karen's life, and the lives of all the saints through history are a testimony to the beauty of the story of redemption that God has been weaving since the first day He made His promise to send one who would crush the head of the serpent.

Clearly, the symphony of Karen's life has entered a movement with a distinct minor key, but as long as we are driven to Christ by these minor chords then her pain, and ours as those who love her, will not be wasted.

5 comments:

Erik Wait said...

I was getting ready for work this evening I was listening to Susan Ashton, the lyrics to “In my Father's Hands” seemed fitting:

Sometimes I get lost, sometimes I get oh so scared
When these wires get crossed, somehow I end up nowhere
But there is where I turn from what I sought to gain
And there is where I learn that I've only to call upon His name.

It's in my Father's hands and I have no fear
There's no point making plans when His hands can steer
Why should I so small and frail, carry life's demands
When He can see where I might fail and where I might stand
It's in my Father's hands.

Sometimes we go wrong, sometimes we get one track minds
Thinking all alone that we can handle life just fine
But there is where we turn and find it's not to gain
And there is where we learn that we've only to call upon His name.

It's in my Father's hands and I have no fear
There's no point making plans when His hands can steer
Why should I so small and frail, carry life's demands
When He can see where I might fail and where I might stand
It's in my Father's hands.

Why should I so small and frail, carry life's demands
When He can see where I might fail and where I might stand
It's in my Father's hands
In my Father's hands...

Nan said...

Wow, Dave. I can think of a particular counselee of my husband that really needs to hear this, "In the past I have often said what a comfort it is to look back at our own lives as Christians and to see the many troubles and times of uncertainty that God has brought us through. The path that God has cut for each of us through history is fraught with these hills and valley's and we never in our wildest dreams would have written the story line God has penned for us. But what a drab uninteresting and lifeless story our lives would be if we were the ones writing it."

You are so right. Your faith is moving to me even as you look towards an uncertain short term future (don't we all I guess?) you cling to the rock. Thank you for your humble example of what faith looks like -- an empty hand and a thankful heart.

Praying about tomorrow especially here.

Nan

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post. We're praying for you both. Denise

Papa Chanoli said...

Shucks Bro, rarely have I read something so nice as that.

I'm not so sure a moment has gone by that some form of prayer for you all hasn't been on my mind.

Duchess of Fife said...

Lifting you all and the doctors up today.

Much love,
Emily