The urgency of crisis has long since passed and has been replaced by the more subtle reminders that pop up at intervals throughout the day reminding us that life is moving forward but doesn’t look normal at all. The extremes of crisis make great fodder for writing and are also a sure fire remedy for writers block. Not long before Karen’s emergency I joked that the best artists are malcontent and deeply troubled. The tension in a life full of darkness and struggle tends to force one to confront the difficult subjects that the normal person rarely thinks about amidst the many distractions that lay within reach of the typical modern.

I don’t believe that I have ever been a malcontent and I don’t possess any allusions that this blog will find itself on a shelf next to any great author. I do, however, understand how a crisis can arouse in a person a sensitivity to these deeper themes. Now that the sense of crisis is gone, though, I find that the words don’t flow quite as easily.

So as we were chatting at dinner tonight about how things are going I asked if she would say a few words to you all. So here goes.

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My dearest husband has made quite an impression on you all (and me too!) with his delightful writing abilities. Mine aren't nearly as entertaining, but here goes...

I am really grateful that the radiation treatment only takes between 10 and 20 minutes now, rather than the 30+ minutes during the 2 days of preparation that were so intense they left me in tears. It’s getting easier now to make it through the daily struggle because the time with my face smashed on the table has been getting shorter as the days go on. I work hard to keep my focus elsewhere during the radiation. By occasionally closing my jaw I can move the pressure on my face from one part to another. Swallowing is also difficult so as the machine moves from one field to another I do my best to swallow a bit.

I also try to make the time pass by counting during each portion of the radiation treatment. So far it appears that I can count to around 30 for each side of my head and around 60 for both the top and bottom of my spine.

The best part is that when it’s all over my forehead and cheeks have large unattractive red indentations that remain prominently displayed for about an hour afterward. Thankfully the office is filled with a delightful and loving group of doctors, nurses and technicians. Yesterday I was getting really anxious as we drove to the appointment. I thought for sure I’d need to take some anti-anxiety medicine in order to make it through, but surprisingly after I got to the radiation center the staff there were so loving I was able to make it through without drugs and it was the easiest time yet.

Overall I'm happy to say that today (Tuesday) is the first day since I started on Thursday that I haven't been feeling pretty yucky. I can only hope that each of the next several days are like today...I want to let you all know how amazed I am by your devotion, prayers and generosity. Endless thank yous to you all!