As I glance over at Karen throughout the day I can't help but smile as I consider all that God has been doing over the past few weeks.

• Karen could have died that Thursday afternoon that I found her unconscious on the floor ... but God preserved her
• The tumor could have been inoperative ... but we were blessed to have been provided with a skilled surgeon
• She could have had a stroke after the surgery ... but she came through perfectly
• The tumor was supposed to be terminal ... but it turns out they were wrong
• She wasn't supposed to be able to talk after the surgery ... but she sang and played the piano at a wedding last night

One of the Psalms that she sang last night was Psalm 128A. The words to the last stanza of that song are:

"And may you see Jerusalem's good all days on earth you dwell. May you your
children's children see, and peace on Israel."

Because the prospect of Karen actually seeing her children’s children had been so poor only a few days before, the great news we received on Tuesday made the blessing that accompanies seeing your grandchildren a truly sweet picture. Coming out of the meeting, however, it wasn’t this picture that was on Karen’s mind.

As I’ve said before Karen is currently at a real disadvantage. It often feels to her like everyone around her has a better understanding of what’s happening than she does. Trying to wrap her mind around this whole situation has been like trying to envision what you look like without the benefit of a mirror to help. You have to rely on everyone else’s description of reality and thus the details in your mental picture remain fuzzy.

So, I’ve been trying my best to help nudge her along as we all endeavor to come to terms with what this all means. In part this has taken the form of summarizing what the doctors are saying and what each bit of information means for her future.

Karen didn’t need my nudging on Tuesday, though. As we sat in the car and began preparing to drive home she told me that she was finally beginning to understand that this cancer was something that she’d have to live with the rest of her life. Silly as it might sound, until this last appointment she had imagined that after the radiation she could simply put this chapter of her life behind her and move on … cancer free. She never even considered that she’d have to get periodic scans, or the possibility of recurrence.

I was glad that she was coming to terms with the long term consequences of her cancer but I also wanted to make sure that after such a positive meeting her focus was in the proper place. I didn’t want her focus to be on radiation or MRIs or recurrence etc. Instead I wanted her to focus on what Dr. Prados kept repeating in our meeting, that Karen should plan on a long and happy life.

I struggled to summarize this message in a way that would create a clear mental picture on which she could set her mind’s eye. After a few moments it finally struck me and I told her gently, “Karen . . . You can plan on seeing your grandchildren.”

A smile of contentment spread across her face. The tears of peace that welled up in her eyes told me clearly that all the inconveniences that might accompany her cancer really don’t matter in comparison with the great joy she will experience when she sees on the face of our first grandchild the special smile that grandchildren reserve only for their grandmother’s.